The Wedding Night

I feel this post can best be summed up in two minutes. 
As can The Wedding Night.
Thank you I'll be here all week.


Seriously though:
~Wife retreats to bathroom to "slip into something more comfortable" (lie number one of the marriage...it is not comfortable).
~Husband sits on bed...attentively waiting for wife to return.
~Wife realizes it was much easier to put on that comfortable clothing with the help of at least     one other person...but is determined to make an impression.
~Husband becomes a little bored...but remembers what is soon coming...starts making preparations himself.
~Wife gets top half adjusted and buttoned/snapped/tied/laced...remembers there's a bottom half too.
~Husband spots remote...lies nude and watches sports...ultimate heaven.
~Wife exits bathroom...wearing something not even the least bit comfortable...that required sweat, muscle, maybe a tiny bit of blood, and about thirty-minutes. Sees husband in all his glory watching television...wonders if she can slip out before he notices.
~Husband sees wife...mental note to turn off television...bigger mental note to check scores later...is at wife's side in two seconds...with comfortable clothing removed in less than one.


So it's more like thirty minutes...plus two...