"I-Do" Defined

The purpose of this blog is monumental.
Take a minute. Let it set in. That's right. Monumental.
After hearing the same problematic stories being told over thousands of years, by millions of women and men...I found a solution. A rule-book if you will. You will.

These problematic stories are the same ones our parents told us, because their parents told them, and their parents beat it into them. The same stories that are discussed between friends and enemies alike. Common ground is common ground, and I'm certain that even the least liked person in my life (you know who you are)and I could spend a few hours comparing these stories (we won’t on account that you are least liked).

What are these problematic stories you may ask (you did when you read the first five words of that sentence)? They pertain to a certain institution I've taken the liberty of defining (you're welcome):

Marriage: the state (life sentence) of being united (stuck) to a person (breathing human) of the opposite (everything) sex, as husband (bread-winner, grass-mower, couch-sitter) or wife (child-raiser, house-cleaner, nagger) in a consensual (pun...con-sensual) and contractual (via pre-nups) relationship (parasitic/host) recognized by law (domestic disturbances).

Riiiigggghhht. See---you know what I'm talking about. And you know you know. And that's what I'm talking about. Are we on the same page now? We will be shortly. Same page of what book you may ask?(Again...you just did....trickery).  It's a little book I like to call "The Unwritten Rules of Saying I Do," also known as "What Every Person Should Know Before Life-Sentencing Themselves to Another Human They Think They Know,  But Trust Me You Don't, So Let Me Help You See The Light (A.KA. Who You Do Not Know)...And Everything That Comes With It. And Everyone that Comes With It. And Sunshine and Butterflies." (It Can't All Be Depressing).

Allow me to introduce you to "The Unwritten Rules of Saying I-Do."